2017’s hurdles and how I learned to jump

I have many hopes and dreams for myself, my family and my blog but I am learning that I need only worry about one thing at a time.

I have spent quite some time reflecting over the last few weeks on the year that was and how the events in 2017 shaped me into who I am today and yet it has taken me a long time to put into words the hopes and dreams I have for 2018 and actually move on from what I went through last year. I think it was an easy way out for me to take the ‘hard done by’ route, the line of thinking that saw me self-victimised and feeling as though the world was against me – only now do I understand that I had to go through last year to get here, where I am today and I am extremely grateful.

To tell you where I am going, I must first explain (as briefly as possible) where I have been.

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A leap of faith.

I have chosen a new path that will allow me to realise a lifelong dream, to do what I love and never work a day in my life.

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It has been a while since I took a jump without forethought and planning. Almost all of my life has been calculated down to the finest T, every decision carefully crafted and designed for a desired outcome. I’ve never been an impulsive person, my OCD disallows careless action and I don’t usually do anything without hours of consideration.

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Dear Diary – Human pincushion again (11/10/17)

I would choose a lifetime of pain and suffering in the company of my children and family, over death or stroke any day.

I thought I had reached the epitome of metal sometime before 7am this morning, I’d gone from dying my hair to dying my blood! Alas, the blood dying was merely for the purposes of an abdominal CT scan and by 4pm in the afternoon I was shedding bucketloads of tears, being forced to make a rushed choice between pain and … well, pain.

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Insomniac

Behind the drooping eyelids and sleep-deprived thoughts, I am the DJ of this party and “I (yet again) can’t get no sleep”.

It isn’t any wonder that I start a ‘mind rave’ every time I feel myself lacking in the sleep department, Faithless are headlining and the song on repeat is one that I am sure many of you know all too well. Behind the drooping eyelids and sleep-deprived thoughts, I am the DJ of this party and “I (yet again) can’t get no sleep”.

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Human pincushion

No, this is not a blog on piercing and body modification (I can assure you, that’s the blog I’d rather be writing). Instead, it’s the tale of how I’ve become a pincushion in 2017.

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