In a few short years, you will learn the difficulties that life presents to it’s less fortunate participants. Despite your best efforts, you’ll be hard pressed to avoid drawing the short straw as you navigate adolescence, puberty, teenage life and young adulthood.
I wish I could tell you that it’ll be over soon, that in time you’ll forget your past and focus only on your future, that the years to come will be a distant memory as you conquer your thirties.
It won’t, they aren’t.
You are strong. Many around you will tell you this over the coming years, you won’t believe any of them. Though continuing to wear your firm exoskeleton, you will feel weak and unworthy on the inside. Many times you won’t know how you’re going to make it out the other side… but you do, you always do. You always, always will.
You will feel betrayed. Those who are supposed to love, nurture and protect you will hurt you, mentally, physically, emotionally. You will be invisibly scarred but let me assure you, your scars will only serve as reminders of the person you will never become no matter what anyone expects of you.
You will be different. So very different. Alternative. Black sheep like. Don’t let that deter you from living your very best life as an individual, as a soul that knows no earthly bounds. Embrace this with every ounce of passion in your body. No matter what anyone says, no matter what they call you or how they ridicule you, stay true to you because no one else could do it as well as you can.
You will be steadfast in your resolve. Be prepared to have the terms stubborn and bitchy hurled in your direction. Those who cannot live their truth will find any way to chastise those who do, you’ll experience that firsthand. Pay no mind to these sad, hollow human beings. They will do all in their power to make you feel insignificant and you will do all in yours to brutally rebuff this, you will be called names and labelled for it but only you know the truth. If being honest, open and formidable makes you ‘stubborn’ then so be it, wear that badge with pride.
You grow fiercer by the day. Not in a rabid dog kind of way but more-so like a proud lioness standing at the head of her pride, each day a lesson learned and another notch on the life experience belt. You chose the path of most resistance and will be handsomely rewarded with unimaginable love. You will fiercely protect your beautiful girls, your loved ones, those closest to you. You will have the courage to recognise those who do you wrong and the strength to remove their cancerous ways from your existence.
You will be thought of as dramatic. Every label will be used to describe a persona that you allow people to perceive. Very few will know the true you, but you know that that you is true. Never, never let that go. Never let her succumb to the pressures around her to be someone she is not… you are perfect as you are. In time, you’ll learn to understand your perfections.
You will hurt. Goddess child, you will know pain. Physical, unyielding pain. Emotional, soul destroying pain. Mental, manipulative pain. You will know and see it all. Somehow, someway, you come right through it like a phoenix from the ashes of forgiveness. You will never, ever forget but instead you will use your experience to be the best human you can be. The best soul you can be, for your children and for those who hold your love sacred.
You will have babies. Two incredible, wildly individual babies. They are so strong, so beautiful… undeservedly perfect almost. I promise you, each and every day you breathe the air that they breathe, you will do all that you can to give them their best life. Their hearts will beat a path into your soul that gives you the strength you need to move mountains. You will never do anything that puts them at a disadvantage, I promise you, of that you need not be scared.
You will face loss. Death, misery, madness. People will come and go, friends will come and go, death will make it’s claim when it sees fit. Your relationship with loss remains an enigma, a misunderstood back and forth between hardship and necessity. At this point, it’s difficult to say if this relationship ever reaches some sort of medium but you will continue to face losses, without a doubt and perhaps more so as you get older. Loss will keep you grounded. Present.
You will be undermined. You will face challenges, your mind will not work as everyone else’s does and for this reason, you will be thought of as weak or cast aside. People will not take the time to understand your emotional wellbeing and your mental health will come into question. Many will call you a hypochondriac, a drama queen, a seeker of attention. Ignore them, you know your own mind and your own heart and one day you will get to a place of acceptance, no matter what those around you may say or feel.
You will know spirituality. I cannot prepare you for your journey to enlightenment but I can confidently tell you that when you get there, you will know where you should have been all along. The universe has a plan for you and you will find that path all on your own, you are going to be so independent always – never let anyone convince you that this is a negative trait.
If I had the power, I would fast forward the next few years for you. I would take the hurt, the pain, the sadness away. Alas, this is not within my power and so I can only offer assurance that no matter what you face and when, your life is beautiful. It may not always seem this way but you have an intense amount of love and wonder to look forward to. So many good things that will outweigh the bad, you will endure, of this I am certain.
Be strong little one. The best is yet to come.
The future you…